A Few Good Men

Disclaimer:  I have no idea how this post is going to go.  I just saw a friend post this article on Facebook and knew I wanted to blog about it:

http://www.returnofkings.com/30402/most-women-dont-deserve-a-good-man

As I was reading this article, I was expecting the author to write something that made it clear this is a satirical piece.  I didn’t find that, and still can’t figure out if he is for real.  Regardless, the guy who posted it on Facebook and the subsequent men who commented are taking it seriously.

Let me start by saying this: I am not saying I 100% disagree with everything the author says.  Cheating is awful, regardless if you are a man or a woman.  I too get tired of reading self-righteous posts on Facebook.  However, there are many, many things that I take issue with.  The title, for starters.  “Most Women Don’t Deserve a Good Man.”  Most?  Really?  Do you have statistical evidence to back that up?  In my experience, whenever I have gone out with my girlfriends it is impossible for us to try to dance without guys trying to come up and start groping.  I’m not out there dancing like a slut; I just like dancing with my friends.  However, I would never dare say that MOST men are disgusting pigs based on this experience.

Next: “But perhaps it was the virtually naked selfie she sent me, almost like it was a reflex, when I jokingly commented how she was wearing too many clothes in a previous photo.”  So, it’s ok for you to make a comment like that and then turn around and judge someone else?  It’s just “joking” when a man does it, but if a woman says something they don’t have any class, just “a vagina and plenty of lonely men around”?

“Chicks I witnessed take on three dudes in a hot tub now throwing up pictures of their baby and poor husband who has no idea what a selfish slooter his wife once was, and probably still is…“The best thing that ever happened to me,” it boasts under the family picture at Epcot Center.  Wrong, she realized one day she was not the star of the show anymore. She desperately needed to dupe some unsuspecting man into locking her down and dealing with her bullshit for the rest of his life before it was too late for her.”  Um, or she grew up and matured?  Again, I’m not condoning slutty behavior.  There are many behaviors mentioned in this article that I would never, ever be comfortable doing.  Women need to have self-respect and not objectify themselves to gain a man’s attention.  However, if she wants to take on 3 guys in a hot tub, I’m not going to sit around and judge her.  That’s not my job.  And it’s also not my job to assume that if this same women later gets a little older and a little wiser and decides to settle down that she has “duped some unsuspecting man into locking her down.”   You are really going to have the pretension to assume that she doesn’t think her family is the best thing that has happened to her?  Really?!

Ok, now I’m officially pissed.  I’m just tired of labels and sweeping generalizations.  I would feel the same way if a woman wrote a similar article entitled “Most Men are Douches and Deserve STDs.”  Life is hard, and we are all doing the best we can to figure it out.  People have different beliefs and values and are going to act differently.  It frustrates me so much when a) people presume to know everything that’s going on in someone’s life and b) we are all judging each other.  When I was in Minneapolis for my birthday I got dressed up in a shorter skirt, got drunk, and went out dancing.  The author of this article probably would’ve called me a slut.  In reality, I was still getting over ending my engagement because I found out my fiancee was using meth and I just wanted to dress up in clothes that made me feel good about myself and go have a fun night with my girls.

I don’t think I’m a slut for doing that.  Others might have different beliefs and values and disagree.  That’s fine.  But don’t judge people.   There was a girl in my high school class who definitely marched to the beat of her own drum and did her own thing.  She had a tattoo that said “Only God can judge me.”  I loved that.  That doesn’t mean I won’t tell you my opinion if I think you are doing something harmful to yourself (whether physically or emotionally) but I’m not going to judge you as a bad person based on a few incidents that I observe in your life.

I guess my whole point in this post is that we can never know the full story, so I think it’s important that we try to be supportive and offer constructive criticism to others, but to keep sweeping generalizations out of it.  Let’s leave the judging up to the ultimate Judge.

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