I’m not sure if I mentioned this before, but I started seeing a therapist in the aftermath of my destroyed engagement. I am still seeing said therapist because (shockingly) he thinks that 12 weeks was not enough time for me to recover from all the emotional trauma I suffered (for those of you who didn’t get it, I was joking when I said “shockingly”…sarcasm Sheldon). This past Monday I was talking to my therapist about the same issues I wrote about in my Life as an Interloper post. After listening to me blab for about 40 minutes, he made a pretty astute observation (sidenote: this is generally how my therapy sessions go. I ramble on for most of the hour and then he says one or two things that pack more punch than everything I just said. I guess that’s why he gets paid the big bucks).
Anyway, my therapist noted how there are many areas of my life where I am so close to achieving what I want but I’m just not quite there. This is true for my job; I love the school I’m working at, but the media specialist job just isn’t my calling. My job is ok, but it’s just not quite there. This is true for my living situation; I’m so excited to move into our new apartment with my sister in June, but that situation is temporary. At the absolute most we would live there for 4 years, but it’s unlikely it will be that long. I have a place to live, but it’s not quite my “home” since I don’t plan to stay indefinitely.
After noting this fact, my therapist encouraged me to focus on what I have achieved and keep faith that things will work out eventually. He pointed out that it’s not like I’ve gotten nowhere in my life. Sure, I’m not exactly where I want to be. But I’m getting there. I’m closer than I was 2 years ago, and in 2 years I’ll probably be closer than I am now. He suggested I need to make a mental shift and start appreciating where I am in life and the strength it took to get here. He reminded me (he’s mentioned this many times) that true growth and change are often accompanied by pain, so if I can get through this hard time things will work out even better in the end.
Well, I’m happy to report that something might actually be working out even sooner than I expected! Last week one of the 6th grade teachers at my school came to tell me that another teacher is retiring and she thinks I would be an excellent person to fill her spot. There were a few tense moments when we weren’t sure if my license qualified me to teach 6th grade, but we found out that I just need to submit a short online application and take 2 courses online over the summer and I would be certified. I don’t have the job yet or anything, but just the idea that I will potentially be in the classroom again next year fills me with so much joy and hope for the future.
I sent an email to my dad explaining the opening, what I would need to do to get certified, and how much the other teachers wanted me on their team (they were sending emails to the principal saying things like “We’ve seen her in the classroom and we know she would be a great fit. Who can I contact to figure out what qualifications she needs for 6th grade?”). My dad, being a man of few words, sent only one sentence in his reply: “There is a plan.” Though brief, I know exactly what he meant.
In case you got lost somewhere in the middle of that long-winded story, let me sum up my point. Things will work out the way they are supposed to. This doesn’t always mean they will work out the way we think we want them to. But everything happens for a reason. Instead of wasting time worrying or mourning what is lost, we need to muster all our strength and keep going full steam ahead. We may not always understand why things are happening the moment they happen. Growth and understanding can come from pain and heartache. We just have to have faith that Someone knows better than we do and that we will understand someday.