Back (for real this time)

OK guys, my blogging hiatus is officially over.  I’m settled into my new place (and my sisters are visiting this weekend so we’ll get to actually decorate the living room and kitchen!!) and no longer feel like the noob at my summer job.  It’s time for me to stop making excuses and get back to blogging.

If you were hoping this would be a DIY decorating post, sorry to disappoint.  Today’s subject is all about online dating.  At my last check in I had gone on my first date and thought it went well but was not 100% sure because we had spent 5 hours at a bar and I had several glasses of red wine clouding my judgement.  Well, I’ve since seen that guy again and felt no connection.  It was a little disappointing but it was a definite no-go.  Then I had to deal with the awkward situation of telling him I didn’t want to see him again.  I decided to take the easy way out and do it via text.  I figured it since we had only gone out twice it wasn’t a totally skeezy thing to do.

I was not having the best of luck.  I had been messaging a few guys, but they would always say something that was too forward or gross and it totally turned me off.  There was one guy that I was getting along with really well, and then he asked how long after we meet before he can start kissing me.  That was super awkward, because we had never even met face to face yet.  For a little bit I considered that I was being too harsh, but then I realize that I don’t owe anyone anything with this dating thing.  If it makes me uncomfortable, there is no reason for me to keep on with it.  I told him I wasn’t comfortable with it, and instead of just accepting it he spent HOURS texting me to try and convince me that he’s a good guy and I need to give him a chance but he hasn’t been “this intrigued by a girl” in a long time.  The situation just got worse and worse.  That wasn’t fun.

Time out for a little online dating advice.  If things are making you uncomfortable, there’s no law that says you have to keep up with it.  I mean, things are probably going to be a little awkward.  It is online dating after all.  But there is a difference between feeling a little out of your comfort zone and feeling truly uncomfortable in a situation.  If you are like me, you can struggle with telling people “no”.  It can be an awkward thing to do, but you need to do what’s right for you.  If you don’t, you might find yourself engaged to a guy with a meth addiction (read my early posts if you don’t know what I’m talking about).

Anyway, I had gone on a couple more dates but nothing really clicked.  That is, nothing clicked until last night.  Then I went out with a new guy (let’s call him Mr. Chivalrous).  This was totally different than the other dates I had been on.  He is smart, funny, has a good job, and was really well-dressed (call me shallow, but I think how a guy dresses for a date says a lot).  He picked me up and we went out for beers at this German bier hall.  We were only supposed to have one since he was driving, but we weren’t ready to go so he asked me if I would be down for having another and then going for a walk after.  We did, and then had about 4 glasses of water each.  He said he still wasn’t comfortable to drive, so he offered to walk me home.  It was about a mile and a half walk, but we set out.  As we were walking, he made me switch spots with him so he could walk next to the street (hence how he got his nickname).  We got to my apartment and he asked if I wanted to hang out and watch TV for awhile.  We watched an episode of Orange is the New Black and then he walked back to his car to head home.

I didn’t feel like this after any of my other dates.  I’ve spent the morning over-analyzing EVERYTHING about last night.  He wanted to stay for another drink, and then he wanted to hang out in my apartment for awhile, so that means he was interested too, right?  On the other hand, when he left he shook my hand.  Yes, I got a handshake.  Not even a hug.  A handshake.  How the eff am I supposed to interpret that??  Was that just him being respectful and old-fashioned?  Or does that mean that he didn’t feel any connection?  

As awful as the over-analyzing is, it feels good to be doing this again.  I haven’t cared enough to try to interpret a man’s actions in a long, long time.  I think I might have a little crush.  That means I can still feel.  C and all the awful things he did didn’t break me completely.  It also makes me glad that I didn’t pursue conversations with other guys who were ok, but I didn’t feel great about.  I had started to think that maybe I’m not someone who feels connections right away, that maybe I need to give guys more chances.  Mr. Chivalrous showed me that I can feel giddy after a first date.  I’m not, like, ready to jump into a relationship or anything dumb like that.  I just have a crush:)

Now, the waiting game starts.  He seems old-fashioned, so I think it’s totally legit that I wait for him to make a move for Date #2…

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3 thoughts on “Back (for real this time)

  1. I started following you here from WB and kinda dropped off. I happened to catch this post in my reader and read it. I am so happy to hear that you’re settling into a new place and job AND dating!

    Online dating is certainly interesting…lots of frogs before you find the prince! A lot of the guys I connected with didn’t even get past the email stage. Less than a handful actually got my number and you are so right, if you’re uncomfortable then you know it’s not right. I actually cancelled on a date the night before because I just had this heebee jeebee feeling and couldn’t shake it. When I met my now husband…I did everything I could to shake him off lol. It’s hard dating after a relationship ends badly and it’s hard to let someone else in. I finally let him in and am so glad I did.

    Good luck with Mr. Chivalrous. He sounds like a nice guy so far and just enjoy the dating scene as it comes 🙂 Although I don’t know about the handshake thing, I would expect at least a hug! Make the move next time 😉

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