Well, it’s here. The week that was supposed to be my wedding week. I honestly, honestly thought this week wouldn’t be that hard. It’s been almost 6 months since I called off the wedding. I’ve got a new apartment, new job, and am dating again. I’ve moved on.
I’m a day in and I couldn’t have been more wrong. My sisters visited this weekend and that provided a good distraction, but as soon as they left I just fell apart. I started to get it together but things keep happening that remind me of what was supposed to be going on this week. Yesterday morning I woke up with an email from the hotel we were supposed to stay at on our wedding night that wanted to confirm the room. The room had been cancelled, but a glitch in the system caused that email to go out. Then today I got an email from the owner of the restaurant where the rehearsal dinner was supposed to be wanting to confirm that. C’s mom had taken care of that and apparently hadn’t called them to cancel.
I thought I would have it pulled together, but I don’t. I can’t seem to make it more than an hour without crying. Then I get frustrated with myself because I don’t want to be crying over that piece of crap anymore. Logically I know that I dodged a huge bullet by not marrying him. I know he wasn’t good for me. I know my life would have been hell if I would have gone through with it and married him after I found out he’s a drug addict. So it frustrates me that I’m having such a hard time this week. Why??
Anyone have any suggestions on how to survive this week?