Don’t Worry, I’m Not Dead!

Holy moly it’s been a loooooong time!  No, I didn’t fall of the face of the earth.  I’ve just been super, super busy (I know, we are all busy and it’s the lamest excuse in the history of ever).  I have been taking some flak recently for not updating this (I’m looking at you M.R.K.) and I finally have a spare moment at school so here goes!

I am LOVING teaching sixth grade.  We have 88 wonderful students who both drive me crazy and make me love life.  The kids get on my every nerve yet they also make me laugh every single day.  I’m finally getting into the swing of things with school and don’t feel tired 100% of the time.  It’s very different than when I worked in the library and just showed up, hung out until the final bell, and then went home.  Now I have to spend every extra minute of time either grading or planning lessons.  I think I’m starting to get the hang of it though, and it’s totally worth being tired.

Last time I blogged I mentioned something was starting with a certain gentleman but I didn’t want to talk too much about it.  Well, things are still going with said gentleman.  The story I mentioned last time about HIMYM and me drinking too much was basically that I was out at a bar with friends and drank wayyyyy too much and basically ended up blacking out.  This was right after this guy (let’s call him A) and I started talking.  He ended up picking me up from the bar because I was no longer coherent.  He lived really close and ended up taking me to his house.  We had talked about how I love HIMYM, so when we got there he put on one of my favorite episodes (Slapsgiving) and tucked me in to bed.  It was really super sweet.  But apparently while I was blacked out I made a REALLY big deal about wanting to take things slow because I had been enjoying talking to him and I didn’t want to screw it up.

Well, it’s 2 months later and we are still moving at snail’s pace.  I guess he took me pretty seriously, which is great that he’s so respectful but sometimes I get a little frustrated.  However, I really like spending time with him and getting to know him better so hopefully it will be worth it.  I also keep reminding myself that I moved WAY too fast with C and we all know how that ended up.  The way things are going with A is probably much better and healthier (sidenote: literally EVERYTHING about A is opposite from C; he’s a college grad, has a really good job, just bought a house, is tall, can grow a full beard, etc. etc.).

While this whole thing is fun, it’s also kind of scary.  I can feel myself developing feelings and I’m scared.  What if he doesn’t reciprocate?  What if he meets someone that is prettier/funnier/smarter/he likes better?  What if I get hurt again?  I don’t want to deal with break-up hurt again (although I’m already positive A would never hurt me like C did).  I’ve never really appreciated how fricken scary feelings and relationships can be.  I was invincible before.  Now I’m a chicken.  But I’m not quite chicken enough to not get out there and try, so that’s good, right?

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