I’ve never been one to make New Year’s resolutions. I think part of that has to do with the fact that I’ve always been a student or a teacher, so for me the new year begins in August. January 1 didn’t seem like a fresh start so why bother making all kinds of promises I probably wouldn’t keep anyway?
This year is a little different. I did make a resolution this year. There were several events that led me to do this. Two of my best friends from high school got married over Christmas break. While I had an absolute blast at both weddings, there was a little nagging feeling I had at both. I found myself stressing that everyone in my high school group is now married and I’m still technically single. I do think this impacted my experience at the weddings (but not too much, because like I said they were a blast).
On my plane ride home from Denver after the second wedding on the morning of January 1 (yes, it was a New Year’s Eve wedding–SO fun) I realized that is crap. I’m too concerned with comparing my place in life to where others are. I’m too concerned with planning and calculating things. That’s what almost ruined things with A back in November. So my resolution this year? Live in the moment. Stop worrying so much and just enjoy life.
I know it’s only been three days, but I can already feel the impact of this resolution. I came home yesterday after being gone since December 23 and A immediately planned this whole night out (so adorable, and made me feel like he has really missed me). Instead of spending the evening overthinking everything he said and figuring out what everything meant, I just had fun. I really tried living in the moment and to just enjoy what was going on. And you know what? It worked. We had a great time and he actually ended up just crashing at my place because he said he didn’t want to go home. There was no drama, no me asking what our status is and what’s going on, no pressure.
Of course, it’s a bad idea to completely ignore the future. We do have to make plans and figure things out. But I was obsessing over things. I think if I can keep this up my life will actually change and I will be a lot happier. Here’s to 2015 and all the great things it will bring!